


Hard road to change

by Boku86



Category: Oz (TV)
Genre: Angst, Drama, Empathy, Execution, F/M, Hurt/Comfort, Prison, Romance
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-02-14
Updated: 2021-03-07
Packaged: 2021-03-15 09:41:33
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 4
Words: 12,357
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29434035
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Boku86/pseuds/Boku86
Summary: Ryan is torn between his love for Gloria and Cyril's imminent execution, while surviving in Oz is getting harder. An alternate version for Ryan's arch in Season 6.
Relationships: Gloria Nathan/Ryan O'Reily
Kudos: 2





	1. Primum non nocere

OSWALL STATE CORRECTIONAL FACILITY – MAXIMUM SECURITY PENITENTIARY

KITCHEN

Ryan O’Reily was cutting some potatoes. Suddenly, he stopped. A thought crossed his mind. He looked around: no one was watching him. He grabbed a knife, put it on his left palm and then closed his hand with strength. Blood started flowing out fast as a pain grimace showed up on his face.

Immediately, the other inmates realized what had just happened.

“Guard! Guard!”

The guard ran towards them.

“What’s going on?”, he asked alarmed.

“O’Reily cut himself”, one of them laughed.

* * *

INFIRMARY

Doctor Gloria Nathan was checking on her patients, when a nurse approached her.

“Doctor Nathan, we need you.”

Gloria walked in the adjacent room and stopped at the doorstep as soon as she recognized the patient.

Shaking her heads, she sighed. Then, she came closer to him.

Ryan was sitting on the bed with a towel soaked in blood in his hand.

“Hey”, he smiled.

”What happened this time?”, she replied harshly.

“I cut myself peeling potatoes.”

Gloria shook her head again and then removed the towel and observed the cut.

“Weird - she stated, acting confused - Tell me something, Ryan, were you cutting potatoes using your left hand as a chopping board? Because that’s the only way a cut like this could happen.”

Ryan laughed.

“Uh…I don’t know, I’m not very good at cooking.”

Gloria looked at him very seriously.

“This story must end. It’s been a month since you’ve kept coming here, with real or alleged sickness. My patience has a limit.”

“It’s not my fault if I’m sickly”, he replied boldly.

Gloria, mad, sighed again. Then, she took the syringe with the anesthetic and injected it into his hand.

Ryan couldn’t take his eyes off her.

“I needed to see you. To hear your voice. I can’t help it.”

Gloria tried to ignore him as she started stitching him up.

“You know I love you, Gloria – he continued softly - I can’t be without you.”

Then, he moved his right hand closer to her face, almost caressing her.

Instinctively, Gloria backed off abruptly.

“Stop it, Ryan! There will never be anything between us, you have to accept it! And next time you’ll come in here without a valid reason, believe me, you’re gonna regret it.”

Ryan looked at her intensely again.

”You know, you’re so beautiful, even when you get mad.”

Gloria quickly finished putting a bandage on his hand.

“Officer!”, she yelled, still furious.

The officer approached a moment after.

“We’re done here – she stated coldly - You can take him back to Em City.”

The guard nodded and took Ryan by his arm.

”Come on, O’Reily, let’s go.”

“Ok – Ryan said and then he turned back at Doctor Nathan - Bye Gloria.”

Gloria snorted while Ryan and the guard left the infirmary.

* * *

EM CITY

A few days passed. Ryan was watching tv with the other inmates when prison unit manager Tim McManus approached them.

“O’Reily, can I talk to you?”, he asked.

Ryan stood up, took off his headset and then followed McManus in a more private corner of Em City.

“What’s going on? It’s about Cyril?”

“Yes, I have bad news. The prosecutor has just called and said that he moved up his last appeal to next Wednesday.”

Ryan began panicking.

“What?? Next Wednesday? It was set for the next month! Why?”

“I don’t know. Maybe he just wants to close the case quickly and go on vacation.”

“Or maybe he wants to move up to prevent us from bringing the public opinion by our side! Fuck, that son of a bitch! Wednesday is so close and my brother will be sentence to death if we can’t convince the media that what they’re doing is wrong!”

“I’m sorry, Ryan, I just told you what I’ve heard. I’ve already called Cyril’s lawyer, he’ll be here this afternoon, so you can talk to him and decide the next move.”

Ryan shook his head with frustration. “Yeah.”

Then, he walked away, heading for his cell. Once in there, he looked around, still unbelieving what he has just heard. Seething with anger, he hit the wall hard with his left hand. Immediately, drops of blood started dripping on the floor.

* * *

INFIRMARY

Ryan was sitting on the bed, holding his hand soaked in blood. In front of him a nurse was checking the wound.

“Your stitches have opened”, she stated.

“I want to see Doctor Nathan.”

“Doctor Nathan is busy with other patients.”

“Bullshit.”

The nurse rolled her eyes.

“I can put them back.”

Ryan instantly removed the hand.

“I don’t trust a fucking nurse, I want Doctor Nathan.”

“Hey, mind your mouth, boy! – she said angrily – And I already told you that Doctor Nathan is busy, so cut it off.”

“That’s not true. She’s just avoiding me”, saying this he began standing up.

“Sit down, O’Reily! Officer!”, the nurse yelled, not feeling able to stop him.

The guard immediately came closer and Ryan sat back.

“What’s going on here?”, he asked Ryan with an authoritative tone.

“Nothing”, he gave in immediately, not looking for troubles.

In that moment Doctor Nathan entered the room, heading for her office.

“Gloria!”, Ryan yelled, trying to get her attention.

The officer instantly reacted: “O’Reily, stop it, ok?”

“Gloria!”

Gloria thought for a moment to ignore him, but then she decided to come closer anyway.

“What’s the matter?”, she asked, moved by a genuine professional curiosity.

“They’re trying to make me cure by a fucking nurse!”

“O’Reily!”, both the nurse and the guard scolded him simultaneously.

“All right, I take care of him, you can go”, Gloria said to both the nurse and the officer, with an annoyed tone

Noting indecision in the guard’s eyes, she remarked: “Really.”

At that point, both of them walked away and Gloria started observing Ryan’s hand.

“Oh, thank God - he reacted with relief - I don’t wanna lose my hand over some incompetent’s mistake.”

“Ryan, a nurse knows perfectly how to stitch up.”

“Oh, really? Anyway, listen, Gloria-

Gloria interrupted him with a very serious tone: “I thought I had been clear about not wanting you here again.”

“Yeah, I know, but this has been an accident.”

“Oh, you don’t say”, Gloria took from the table the instrument to stitch up.

Ryan glanced at her, confused.

“Hey, you shouldn’t first inject me the painkiller?”

“Yeah, you’re right, what a scatterbrain I am”, she said sarcastically.

Ryan smirked nervously, “Eh.”

Gloria took the syringe, filled it with a phial, picked the glass with her finger and let a drop came out.

“Here’s your anesthetic.”

Saying so, instead of injecting the syringe in his hand, she emptied the whole contents in the trash can, right under Ryan’s eyes. Then, she took back the previous instrument and inserted the first stitch.

Ryan observed everything quietly, squinting his eyes slightly for the pain. Whispering, he said:

“You know that if a go to the warden to tell him what you’re doing, you can lose your job.”

“You’ll never do that.”

“Why not?”

Gloria sneered.

“Because if I lose my job, you’ll never see me again…and I guess that’s not what you want, right?”

Ryan stood quiet, overpowered. Gloria put another stitch.

“I told you it wouldn’t be nice if you’d hurt yourself again just to see me”, she continued, coldly.

Ryan remained silent again, while Doctor Nathan proceeded with other stitches.

“What, you have lost your tongue? Have I really found a way to shut up Ryan O’Reily?”

“You can do whatever you want to me, what I feel for you doesn’t change”, he replied softly.

Gloria shook her head, put the last stitch and cut the thread.

“We’re done. You can put the bandage yourself. Officer!”

Gloria stood up, ready to walk away.

“Thanks Gloria.”

Gloria turned to him immediately, “What?”

“Seeing you has improved this shitty day. You know, they’ve moved up to Wednesday the date in which they’ll decide if Cyril is gonna be sentenced to death.”

Gloria stared at him, speechless.

The guard arrived and took Ryan’s arm.

“Let’s go.”

* * *

COFFEE BREAK ROOM

Gloria appeared very nervous while she was trying to use the coffee machine that seemed not to work properly. Sister Peter Marie came in and immediately she noticed that something was wrong.

“Hi Gloria.”

Hearing her name, Gloria turned to her, still distracted: “Hi.”

“Everything ok?”

“Yeah…I mean, this coffee machine is impossible, it’s always stuck or broken”, she said in frustration.

“I see. Do you need a hand?”

“Uh, no, thanks. I think it’s better if I stay away from coffee today.”

Peter Marie kept observing her, trying to understand what her problem was. Gloria stayed defensive a moment more, then she sighed and started speaking.

“Do you think we can talk a minute?”, she asked to the nun.

“Sure, this is why I’m here. What’s the matter?”

Gloria sighed again.

“Today, I did something terrible. You know, when I became a doctor, I made an oath, the Hippocratic oath. Through this oath you swear that you’ll never hurt your patients. Well, today…I broke that oath.”

Peter Marie stared at her, confused.

“What happened?”

“I lost my patience – she said overwhelm by the situation – and I deliberately avoid injecting an anesthetic to a patient.”

“Let me guess…Ryan O’Reily?”

“Yes. I don’t know what happened to me, but I really couldn’t take it anymore. I thought that this story of his crush for me was over, but, since last month, he has started again to talk to me about his feelings and he has continued to come to the infirmary with an excuse or hurting himself just to see me. I didn’t know what else I could do to teach him a lesson and I looked for a way to keep him away from the infirmary, but now I feel like shit for what I’ve done.”

Peter Marie got up and came closer to her, putting her hand on her shoulder.

“Gloria, it’s easy to lose our patience in a place like Oz and with inmates like O’Reily is even easier. I want to ask you something. You said that only recently he has started to harass you again like he did two years ago, did you give him any signal that your position towards him has changed? Because, if I recall correctly, at the beginning of all of this, you confessed me that you felt something for him too.”

“No, no way – Gloria answered impulsively – Whatever it was, after what he did to my husband, it’s gone. So, no, I didn’t give him any encouragement. “

“Ok, ok, I get it.”

While Peter Marie replied to her, Gloria’s mind went back to the unspeakable secret that herself and Ryan had kept during the last year. The secret about the death of Patrick Keanan, the man that had brutally raped her and that Ryan, ultimately, had confessed her to have killed. But no, she hadn’t given him any signal. Or had she?

“Listen – Peter Marie continued – why don’t you ask the warden a few days of vacation away from all of this? In the meantime, I could try to talk to Ryan again to make him understand how much his behavior is hurting you.”

“Yeah, I think it may be a good idea.”

“Ok. Don’t worry about this”, she smiled to her.

Gloria lowered her eyes, absorbed in her own thoughts.

“Do you think…do you think I should apologize to him?”, she finally managed to ask.

Peter Marie glanced at her with surprise.

“After everything that man has done to mess up your life, do you still think you’re the one who needs to apologize?”

“I know, it’s just that…I don’t want to be that kind of person who is moved by rage or revenge. I’m not that kind of person. I’ve become a doctor to help people, not to hurt them and that regardless what they’ve done in the past. And, working in a place like Oz, it’s essential for me to think it this way.”

“That is true and it is noble for you to think that, but what I want you to be aware of is that, in O’Reily’s eyes, even the smallest act of kindness could be easily misinterpreted as something else and that’s the last thing you both need at this point. What you do need right now, would be to step away for a while and leave all this story behind your back.”

“Yeah, maybe you’re right.”

Peter Marie nodded and then glanced at her watch.

“Oh, I really need to go now. If you need to talk again, you know where to find me”, she gave her a comforting smile.

“Thank you”, Gloria smiled back, feeling reassured.

Then, Peter Marie left the room while Gloria sat back at the table.

* * *

INFIRMARY – The following week.

While sitting on her desk checking some papers, Gloria noticed Ryan entering the infirmary with the food cart and starting to deliver meals to the other inmates. She forced herself to focus again on what she was doing but then she raised her eyes again, sighed, and finally decided to get up and head for the door.

Coming closer, she stopped and stared at him while he handled the tray to one of her patients.

“O’Reily, can I talk to you for a second?”, she eventually asked.

Ryan immediately glanced at her very surprised. Then, he nodded and left the cart to follow her in her office. Once in there, Ryan went to close the door, but Gloria instantly stopped him.

“Leave the door open”, she said just to be sure that no misinterpreting thoughts crossed his mind.

“Ok.”

“Listen…about what happened last week…I acted in a way that doesn’t belong to me and I wanted to apologize”, she said impulsively, trying to lift that boulder from her chest once for all.

Ryan couldn’t help but smile at her.

“It’s ok, don’t worry – he replied with a soft tone - You didn’t need to do this. Nobody ever apologized to me and that’s just another example of what a wonderful person you are.”

Gloria rolled her eyes.

“Ok, ok, I’m leaving”, he reassured her before turning towards the door.

“Ryan.”

Ryan stopped and looked at her again.

“Please stop hurting yourself just to see me, ok?”

Ryan nodded.

“Ok, I promise.”

Gloria made a hint of smile, feeling sincerity in his words.

“Ah, Gloria…I don’t know if you heard it already but…Cyril’s death sentence is final now.”

Then, he turned away and left. Gloria lowered her eyes with sadness.


	2. Bad Influence

DEATH ROW

Escorted by a guard, Ryan entered the death row and arrived at the cell of his brain-damaged brother Cyril.

The guard took the keys, opened the door, let Ryan in and then closed it back and left.

Cyril was on the bed, staring at the ceiling. As soon as he saw Ryan, he got up and ran to him, very happy to see him.

“Ryan!”

“Hi Cyril - he replied, hugging him – how are you?”

“I don’t like this place, I wanna come back to Em City with you”, Cyril answered with his typical childish tone.

“You know it’s not possible, Cyril. You have to stay here for a little longer.”

“How long?”

“Not much. Just a few weeks.”

“And then I can come back to your cell with you?”, he asked full of hopes.

Ryan’s eyes filled with tears.

“Maybe.”

“Yay! You know, Ryan, I don’t like staying here alone. Plus, there’s Robson that keeps saying bad things.”

Ryan immediately turned to Robson’s cell, right in front of them. Robson sneered at him.

“What bad things?”, Ryan asked to Cyril, getting more worried.

“He tells me scary stories and other things that mommy said that you shouldn’t tell.”

Ryan, furious, turned back to Robson, who, at that point, was laughing smugly.

“Robson, leave my brother alone!”

“Suck my dick, O’Reily!”, Robson yelled back cheekily.

Ryan sighed, seething in anger, but managed to keep himself from doing a scene.

“Look Cyril, don’t listen to that fucking nazi, ok?”

“But how can I do it if he keeps talking?”

“Hey, do you remember when we were kids and we didn’t wanna hear dad’s fits of rage? We covered our ears with our hands and then said ‘Blah blah blah I can’t hear you’, remember?”

Cyril immediately did what Ryan just showed him, laughing.

“Blah blah blah I can’t hear you, blah blah blah I can’t hear you”

“Yeah, like that.”

“Blah blah blah I can’t hear you, blah blah blah I can’t hear you”

“Cyril, enough!”, Ryan ordered him, getting serious abruptly. Cyril obeyed instantly, then Ryan smiled back at him.

“If you do that, Robson won’t bother you anymore.”

Cyril nodded.

“And what about the guards? Do they treat you well?”

“Yes, but there is one that scares me and sometimes does strange gestures.”

Ryan got worried again.

“Who?”

“The woman. Claire Howell.”

Ryan sighed, getting more upset.

“She’s nuts, don’t listen to her, ok? Anyway, you don’t have to be afraid of the COs, all right? Remember, you won the boxing competition, so are the others who must be afraid of you, am I right?”

“Yeah! - Cyril smiled, proud of himself – But, Ryan, isn’t boxing only to be used on the ring?”

“Yes, but, you know, if someone’s trying to hurt you, you can use it also outside of the ring, to defend yourself.”

“Ok.”

“Good. Ah, Cyril, I almost forgot, I brought you something.”

Cyril’s eyes flashed with joy.

“A surprise??”

“Yeah.”

“What is it? What is it?”

Ryan looked around to check no guards were near, then he pulled out a little box from his pocket.

“Here”, he gave it to him. Cyril took it and observed it.

“Wow, peanut butter! I love peanut butter!”, he exclaimed happily.

“I know.”

Cyril, very excited, opened the box.

“Hey, hey, hey – Ryan stopped him – You know, COs don’t want us to steal food from the kitchen, so you’ve gotta be careful not to get caught while eating it or they’ll take it away from you.”

“Yes. Can I eat it now?”

Ryan looked around again.

“Ok, but just a little.”

Cyril tasted the peanut butter, then, closed the box and put it under his pillow.

“Good”, Ryan smiled at him.

After a while, a correctional officer came closer and opened the door.

“O’Reily, time’s up. You have to get back to Em City.”

“But I’ve just arrived here!”, Ryan complained.

“It’s almost 11, they’re waiting for you in the kitchen”, the CO insisted.

“Fuck it – then, turning back to his brother – Cyril, I’m sorry but I have to go, but I’ll come back soon, ok?”

“Yeah.”

They hugged again, then Ryan left the cell and the officer locked the door.

“Bye Cyril”, Ryan said through the bars of the cell.

“Bye Ryan”, Cyril replied waving at him.

“Bye Ryan”, Robson mocked Cyril’s tone from the other cell.

Ryan turned to him and cursed at him under his breath. Then, with the guard, he left the death row.

* * *

WARDEN’S OFFICE – A few days later

Ryan stepped in Warden Glynn’s office with a guard. Inside, standing up near his desk, also McManus was there.

“What’s going on?”, Ryan asked alarmed and nervous.

“Sit, Ryan”, McManus ordered him.

Ryan sat, while the guard stayed closed to the door.

Warden Glynn began speaking.

“This morning Cyril had another of his attacks”, he stated coldly.

Ryan sighed.

“What did he do?”

“A guard caught him eating some peanut butter or something like that, so he stepped in to confiscate it from him. At that point, Cyril started to scream and lose control, going completely crazy until he assaulted the guard and began beating him furiously. Then, other COs came in but they needed to sedate him and tied him up to make him calm down again.”

Ryan took his head in his hands, very concerned.

“And how is he now?”

“He’s in infirmary, still under sedatives. They’re gonna keep him there for a while to check on him. The officer he beat, instead, risks to lose an eye.”

“Can I see him?”, Ryan asked abruptly.

McManus chuckled sarcastically.

“What?”, Ryan turned to him.

“Ryan, how exactly do you think that peanut butter got into Cyril’s hands?”

Ryan raised his eyes, annoyed.

“I don’t know”, he stated with indifference.

McManus scoffed, more upset.

“My God, your ability to deny the evidence is incredible!”

“Look, it was just some fucking peanut butter, it was nothing dangerous!”

“Yeah, sure, today you steal some food from the kitchen, tomorrow a knife!”, McManus was getting mad, every second more.

“But it wasn’t a knife!”, Ryan yelled, very angry too.

“In any case, your job in the kitchen is done. You’re out.”

“Fuck you!”

While McManus was trying to calm down, the warden resumed talking.

“There’s something else, O’Reily. Robson, the inmate that is in death row with Cyril, has stated that, during your last meeting, you pushed Cyril to use violence against the COs, taking advantage of his boxer skills.”

“And you’re not gonna believe that fucking nazi!”

“I don’t know. But this morning Cyril attacked a guard, it’s a little weird as coincidence, don’t you think?”

Ryan looked at him disconcerted. “This is absurd.”

“You’re a bad influence for your brother, O’Reily – McManus intervened – You’ve always been.”

“I didn’t push him to assault a guard, ok? At most, I’ve just told him to defend himself if someone attacked him, that’s all.”

McManus designed a line with his hand, as to say “Exactly.”

“Anyway, O’Reily – Warden Glynn resumed speaking – we’ve decided that it’s best if you and your brother don’t see each other for a while.”

“What? For how long?”, Ryan asked in disbelief and anger.

“Until Cyril will be completely recovered, let’s say a couple of weeks.”

Ryan stood up furious. “WHAT?! Cyril’s gonna die next month, you can’t prevent me to see him for two weeks!”

Immediately, the CO came closer to Ryan and made him sit back again.

“It’s for Cyril’s good”, Warden Glynn said.

“Bullshit! He needs me, now more than ever. I’m the only person that he trusts in here and if he can’t see me for two weeks, he will lose his mind even more, I can assure you that!”

“Or maybe – McManus spoke again – staying away from your lies and mind tricks, he will finally be able to calm down and get better.”

“He’s perfectly calm when he’s with me, it’s when he’s alone that loses his mind!”, Ryan said, demoralized.

“Ok, let’s get this over with – Warden Glynn cut it off – This is the decision that has been taken, O’Reily, whether you like it or not. Next time think twice before saying or doing something stupid. – Then, turning to the guard - Take him back to Em City.”

“Yes, sir.”

“You can’t do this”, Ryan said in frustration.

The guard took him by his arm.

“Move!”

Ryan instantly tried to retrieve it.

“Don’t touch me!”

Then, they both left the room.

* * *

EM CITY – The following day

Ryan climbed up the stairs and reached the correctional officers’ observation point with a painful expression on his face.

“Officer, I’m not feeling ok, I need to go to the infirmary”, Ryan told to one of the guards.

“Oh really? And what do you have today?”, the officer mocked him.

“I got a strong bellyache that goes deep down to the right leg. I think it might be the appendix.”

“Yeah, sure.”

The officer turned around and focused back on one of the screens.

“What, you don’t believe me?? You know that it could turn into peritonitis? I could die for this! And if I die and you didn’t let me go to the infirmary, you’re gonna get in real trouble.”

“You’re not gonna die, O’Reily…unfortunately – the guard cut him off – And you know why? Because you don’t have a fucking anything! You’re just acting like you always do to go and see Doctor Nathan!”

“I’m not faking this, I– 

Ryan threw himself to the ground and started yelling his lungs out so that anyone in Em City could hear him. Feeling all eyes on him, the officer snorted.

“All right.”

* * *

INFIRMARY

Ryan entered the infirmary on a stretcher. Immediately, Doctor Nathan came closer to him.

“What’s going on?”, she asked worried.

“Possible appendicitis”, a nurse replied.

“Ok, let me check.”

In that moment, Ryan opened back his eyes and noticed the nurse next to Gloria.

“Can I…can I have some water?”, he asked with an aching tone.

Gloria nodded and then turned to the nurse that instantly walked away to go get it.

“Where exactly does it hurt?”, Gloria asked, touching his belly.

Ryan followed the nurse with his eyes while she left the room.

“Ryan?”

“I’m fine, but I need your help.”

“Unbelievable!”, she exclaimed, visibly pissed off. Then, she took off her gloves and threw them in the trash, ready to leave.

“No, Gloria, wait! Gloria! It’s not about you, it’s about Cyril! Please.”

Gloria stopped and turned to him, still mad.

“You promised me no more plays.”

“He’s here in infirmary, I know. How is he?”

“He’s still under sedatives. He was really out of his mind when they brought him here.”

“Yeah…They don’t wanna make me see him again for at least a couple of weeks - Ryan became sadder - Next month Cyril’s gonna die and these motherfuckers think that is best for him not to see me, can you believe it? They say that I’m a bad influence for him, which it’s true, but Cyril really loves me and he really needs me, now more than ever. He can’t do it by himself in the death row, not in this last month…He doesn’t even know what to expect…”

Gloria came closer to him, less angry. Ryan continued talking.

“He’s gonna get worse, you know that, he’ll get unmanageable. Plus, I don’t want him to think that I’ve abandoned him.”

Ryan got more emotional and Gloria couldn’t help but feel empathy for him.

“Why are you telling me all this?”, she asked, confused.

“Because you’re the only one that can help me. Let me see Cyril.”

Gloria sighed, puzzled on what to do. In that moment the nurse came back with a glass of water. Ryan immediately resumed his act and aching expression.

“Here”, the nurse made him drink.

“It’s not appendicitis but I need to do further tests – Gloria stated – Could you go check in the other room if some patients need help, please?”

“Sure”, the nurse left again.

“Thanks”, Ryan whispered.

“I still haven’t said that I would help you, Ryan. And even if I wanted to, I don’t know how I could do it.”

“You could say that I have some medical condition and I need to come to the infirmary to get some cure at least a couple times a week and then, once in here, you can let me go to Cyril. I don’t say for long, just for a few minutes.”

Gloria shook her head.

“So, wait, I should forge your medical record and let you in the isolation sector in infirmary against warden’s orders, risking every time of being caught? What you’re asking me is much more than a little favor, I could really lose my job over this.”

“You’re not gonna lose your job, Gloria, I promise you.”

Gloria shook her head again, still not convinced about the whole matter.

“You know that what they’re doing to me and Cyril is wrong – Ryan insisted again – I can see it in your eyes that you agree with me on this…Please. If you don’t wanna do it for me, do it at least for Cyril, he doesn’t deserve this treatment in his last days in here.”

Gloria sighed and then turned around.

“Tell me at least that you will think about it!”, Ryan yelled while she was heading for the door.

Gloria stopped for a moment and then got out.

* * *

INFIRMARY – The same night

Ryan was sleeping in one of the beds in the ward, when Gloria came closer to him.

“Ryan”, she whispered.

Ryan opened his eyes.

“Hey.”

“If you want to see Cyril, you have to come with me now. The nurse is on a break, she’ll be back in 15 minutes.”

“Thanks.”

Ryan got up immediately.

“Listen – Gloria resumed talking – I wrote that you would need a probiotic treatment and you would have to come here twice a week for some injections. Keep in mind that I can’t assure you that any time you’ll be able to see your brother, I’m not alone here and I don’t want to get in trouble for this, ok?”

“I know, don’t worry. You’ve already done too much, you’re an angel.”

“Follow me.”

Gloria and Ryan left the room, walked through a hallway and reached a door with a little window on the top. Gloria took out some keys from her pocket and opened the door. Ryan looked behind him and then they both entered. After another short hallway, Gloria stopped and pointed at another door.

“That is Cyril’s room. You have five minutes.”

“Ok.”

Ryan got in while Gloria remained in the hallway, looking through the small window on the door, pretty nervous.

* * *

CYRIL’S ROOM

Ryan closed the door behind his back and came closer to Cyril who was asleep.

“Cyril, pss, wake up, Cyril.”

Cyril slowly opened his eyes, a little confused.

“Ryan?”

“Shhh, Cyril, lower your voice.”

“But it’s already morning?”, Cyril whispered, following his brother’s order.

“No, not yet. Look, Cyril, you have to listen to me very well. For the next few weeks, we won’t be able to see each other like we always do, but we’ll be able to meet just for a few minutes and always speaking with a low voice, ok?”

“Why do we have to speak in a low voice?”

“Because here we are in the infirmary and, you know, there are other sick patients here that wanna rest and we don’t wanna disturb them, right?”

“Right.”

“Good boy – Ryan smiled at him – How are you feeling today?”

“My head hurts”, Cyril complained showing some pain in his expression.

“It’s normal, it’s because of the medicines they’re giving to you. If you behave well, they’re gonna give you less of them and the headache will go away.”

“Ryan, do you know that they took away from me the peanut butter you gave me?”

“I know, but it’s better this way, too much peanut butter makes you get pimples.”

“But I liked it!”

“Maybe one day I’ll bring you some more, we’ll see.”

In that moment, Gloria opened the door slightly.

“Ryan”, she said in a soft voice.

Ryan nodded.

“All right, Cyril, I have to go now. Hug me.”

They both hugged.

“I love you, little bro.”

“Me too, Ryan.”

“Bye.”

Ryan left the room and followed Gloria back to the room where Ryan’s bed was.

“Thank you again”, he said with a grateful look, while going under his bed sheet.

Gloria nodded and then came back to her office. A few moments later the nurse came in and Ryan pretended to be asleep.

* * *

INFIRMARY – A few days later

After being dismissed from the infirmary and sent back to Em City a few days earlier, Ryan was brought back in the ward to get the injection Doctor Nathan prescribed him. The officer took him to one of the beds and then left. From the other side of the room, Gloria noticed him and came closer.

“Vivian – she said to the nurse in the same room – I need you to go and check on Hoyte, I’ll take care of O’Reily.”

“Ok”, the nurse replied before leaving.

Seeing Gloria, Ryan showed a big smile to her.

“Hey.”

“Let’s do this quickly”, Gloria stated anxiously.

Immediately they started walking, left the room and passed the first door. Then, Ryan entered Cyril’s room while Gloria, once again, remained outside, checking that no one would come that way.

After a while, Gloria spotted McManus, entering the ward with one of the correctional officers. Noticing that they were coming in the direction of the isolation sector, she rushed into Cyril’s room.

“Ryan, we have to go”, she ordered him with a concerned tone.

“What’s going on?”

“Now.”

“All right – he replied, worried himself – Cyril, we’ll meet again soon.”

“Bye Ryan”, Cyril said with a hint of sadness.

Ryan quickly left the room and reached Gloria.

“What’s the matter?”

Before she could reply, Ryan noticed, through the glass over the door of their sector, McManus and the officer that got out from one of the doors in the hallway and were now coming straight to their direction.

“Shit! Is there another way out?”, he anxiously asked Gloria.

“No, that is the only way.”

“Fuck!”

“If they find you here, they’re gonna fire me”, she said more nervously.

Ryan looked around, trying to think on his feet.

“You’re not gonna lose your job, Gloria, I promised you.”

Gloria sighed, extremely stressed out. Ryan noticed a glass bottle of a medicine on a small table, reached it and smashed it against the table.

“What the hell do you wanna do?”, she asked both confused and scared.

“There’s only a way out, you said it.”

Then, Ryan took a piece of glass in his hand.

“I’m sorry for what I’m about to do”, he whispered.

Gloria looked at him, disoriented, while Ryan started to yell as loud as he can: “NOW, YOU’RE GONNA MAKE ME SEE MY BROTHER!”

Gloria shook her head, realizing his plan.

“Don’t do this, you’re gonna get in trouble”, she pleaded.

“Scream”, he ordered her in a soft voice.

“No.”

Ryan suddenly came closer to her, pointing the glass sliver at her throat. Gloria, by instinct, screamed.

Hearing the yells, McManus and the officer quickly rushed into the hallway. Immediately, the guard took out his gun and pointed it at Ryan.

“O’Reily, drop that glass now!”

“All right, all right – he instantly dropped it – Don’t shoot, ok?”

Then, Ryan let Gloria go, took his hands over his hand and kneed. The officer immediately approached him and kicked him hard. Once on the ground, he restrained him and cuffed him.

Gloria witnessed the whole scene in shock, while McManus came closer to her.

“Are you ok?”, he asked her, worried.

She barely managed to nod. Then McManus reached Ryan and kicked him in the belly.

“You son of a bitch! You assaulted an unarmed woman! And you said you loved her!”, he yelled furiously, kicking him again.

“Tim, it’s enough!”, Gloria tried to stop him.

McManus shook his head in disgust, while Ryan stood on the ground, in pain.

“Take him to solitary”, he ordered the CO.

Ryan raised his head at him, both confused and worried.

“After something like this, what did you expect? – Mc Manus taunted him – And you know what’s the funny thing? That you did all of this to see your brother, but now that you go to solitary, I can assure you, you won’t fucking see him again! Congratulations for the smart move, O’Reily!”

Ryan stared at him, speechless. Then, McManus nodded at the officer that immediately made Ryan stand up and escorted him out of the door. Gloria watched the whole scene, still petrified.

McManus approached her again to reassure her.

“It’s all over now.”


	3. Isolation

SOLITARY

Ryan was sitting on his bed in his cell in solitary row, still in pain after what happened in the infirmary a few hours before.

The heavy metal door opened and officer Claire Howell entered the room with a smug grin on her face.

“Hi Ryan”, she greeted him.

Ryan immediately got up and moved to the opposite side of the room, looking pretty nervous.

“What, you’re not happy to see me?”, she continued, mocking him.

Ryan made a disgust grimace, cursing under his breath.

“You know – she went on, ignoring his reaction – when they kicked me out of Em City, I became really sad because I thought: ‘and now how can I have fun with O’Reily?’ But today, when I arrived at work, they told me that they’d brought you here in solitary and I couldn’t believe it. Think how good it could be, me and you, here, alone, without even the need of looking for a more private place…”

Ryan kept staring at her in silence, feeling repulsed every moment more.

“But then they told me the reason why you’re here. You assaulted Doctor Nathan – her fingers went down to her right flank, starting to caress the truncheon she wore at her waist – So, not only you attacked one of ours, but also a woman. As a CO and a woman, I feel twice as offended by this.”

Howell’s fingers ran again around the truncheon, faster than before. Ryan observed her, worried, trying to find quickly a solution to get out of this unharmed.

“Hey, listen – he began talking with a soft voice – I was thinking – he started walking towards her – earlier you said…you and me…alone…in this cell…where no one could see us – Ryan moved closer to her – Don’t you think that maybe – his voice turned into a more seductive tone – maybe – he whispered at her ear – we can find a funnier way to pass this time?”

Claire looked at him, chuckling longing.

“Yeah?”, she asked eagerly.

“Yeah”, he whispered, using all his charm.

“Well, if you put it that way…”

Claire immediately pushed him against the wall, starting to kiss him and to open up his pants.

A while later, Claire and Ryan were sitting on the floor of the cell. She was buttoning her shirt up while he was closing back his pants.

“You know, I’ve really missed you, O’Reily.”

“Yeah”, he replied with disgust.

Officer Howell got back on her feet.

“I’m really sorry for what I’m about to do”, she mocked him, before picking up the truncheon. Ryan instantly got upset.

“Hey, hey, hey, I thought we were ok!”, he exclaimed, scared.

“What? Did you really think that I’d let myself bribe with a fuck??”, she taunted him.

“Oh fuck, OFFICER!”, he screamed.

“I am the officer, you moron! - then, going closer to him – Now you’ll understand what is like to be a defenseless person getting attacked.”

Claire started beating him with the truncheon furiously, hitting him at the chest and the abdomen. Then, she secured back the baton at her waist and headed for the door, like nothing had happened. Ryan remained breathless on the ground.

“Welcome to solitary, O’Reily”, she mocked him again.

The, she closed back the door and left.

* * *

SOLITARY – a few hours later

Ryan was still lying on the ground, with his eyes closed and a labor breathing.

Suddenly, he heard two beats on the door.

“Dinner!”, a voice from outside yelled.

Ryan sighed and then crawled to the door to reach the small slit through which the food was delivered to prisoners in solitary cells. Seeing the tray half inside, he went to grab it, but before the hand on the other side let it go, the voice of the guard outside whispered to him:

“Really?? Doctor Nathan?”

Ryan pulled the tray inside with strength, ignoring the guard’s comment, annoyed. Then, opening the food box, he found inside just a piece of paper with written over “Fuck you asshole”. Angry and frustrated, he threw the tray against the wall, smashing it. He then leant with his back on the door and took his head in his hands, sighing.

* * *

SOLITARY – the following day

Ryan was sitting on the bed, looking at the wall in front of him. Every breath was like a punch on his chest. With effort, he got up, reached the sink and washed his face. Then, he raised his shirt and observed the violet bruises underneath it.

In that moment, two beats hit on the metal door.

“Lunch!”

Ryan reached the door and pulled the tray in.

“I hope you enjoyed your last meal”, the officer outside taunted him.

“Fuck you.”

Ryan opened the box, just to find, this time, only the drawing of a dick in it. Mad, he threw it on the ground and opened back the slit from the inside.

“You can’t do this, I’m gonna tell the warden!”, he screamed at the officer outside.

The guard chuckled and then got back near the door.

“Oh, really? And, exactly, how do you think you can do it while locked up in there?

“This is just temporary – Ryan replied angry – When I got out, you’ll be in big trouble.”

“Yeah – the guard smiled again – but first you need to get out from there, O’Reily. I won’t count on it.”

Laughing, the officer walked away. Ryan, furious, began walking around his cell to calm down.

A couple of hours later, the door of the cell opened. Howell got in with a big smile on her face.

“Good morning, Ryan.”

Ryan rolled his eyes, annoyed.

“I had fun yesterday, I think we should repeat it”, she stated eagerly.

“Leave me alone, I don’t want to.”

“Maybe you didn’t get how this works, Ryan. This is not your decision. If I say that we’re gonna have fun together, we’re gonna have fun together.”

“Oh really? – he said with a provocative demeanor – I don’t think so.”

“Ok, let’s put it this way – Howell was starting to lose her patience – There are only two ways in which I can have fun with you. One it’s with my baton – she lowered her hand on her truncheon – the other is with yours. Your call.”

Ryan snorted with scorn.

“All right.”

Then, the two of them started to have sex.

Once over, Claire fixed her uniform and headed for the door.

“Hey, Claire.”

Howell turn immediately back to him.

“The other guard, I don’t know his name, Herman, Hanson–

“Helmotz”

“Yeah, him. He’s having fun delivering me empty food tray. You know, if you want us to keep enjoying ourselves, I need to be in strength. So, I was thinking, maybe you can get me a full tray, uh?”

“Mmm…I’ll see what I can do.”

Then, she turned again and got out. Ryan watched to door closing with a disgusted expression.

* * *

INFIRMARY

Doctor Nathan entered Cyril’s room.

“Hi Cyril.”

“Hi, Doctor Nathan.”

“How are you feeling today? The headache?”

“It’s gone.”

“Good – Gloria smiled – I will keep you here until this evening, so we can make sure that it won’t come back again, ok?”

“Ok. Doctor Nathan, can I ask you something?”

“Sure.”

“Why Ryan doesn’t come here to see me anymore? Did I do something wrong?”

Gloria sighed.

“No, Cyril, it’s not your fault.”

“Then why he doesn’t want to see me?”, Cyril insisted, with a hint of sadness in his childish voice.

“It’s not that he doesn’t want to see you, Cyril. He wants to see you. But, right now, he’s in another row of the prison so he can’t come here.”

“And why he can’t come here?”

“Because the warden doesn’t want to.”

“And why the warden doesn’t want to?”

“Because he thinks that it’s best for you if you don’t see each other for a while.”

“And why?”

Cyril was getting visibly upset and uncomfortable, every question more, while Gloria thought that her attempt to keep him calm was bringing no results.

“I don’t know, Cyril! – she eventually lost her patience – You don’t have to ask me.”

“But when can I see Ryan?”

“I don’t know that too, but soon.”

“But I want to see Ryan – Cyril began crying and getting more shaken – I want to see Ryan! I want to see Ryan!”

“Cyril, now calm down, please.”

“I WANT TO SEE RYAN! I WANT TO SEE RYAN!”, he screamed his lungs out and then, tried to get up.

“Cyril, stop! OFFICER!”

Cyril continued screaming and moving uncontrollably. An officer rushed into the room and blocked him back to his bed, while Cyril fought him with all his strengths. Seeing no better option, Gloria was forced to sedate him again. After a few seconds, Cyril calmed down and fell asleep under Gloria’s worried eyes.

* * *

SOLITARY – the following day

Ryan was lying on the bed, with a hand on his chest that still ached. The door opened and Howell got in.

“Good morning, Ryan.”

Ryan immediately sat up.

“Have you brought me something to eat?”

“What? Oh, I forgot”, she nonchalantly replied.

“Shit!”

“I’ll bring you tomorrow.”

“Tomorrow?? Tomorrow is late, today!”, Ryan exclaimed with anger and frustration.

“Look, O’Reily, cut the fuck out, ok! Instead...Let’s not waste any more time.”

Howell unbuttoned her shirt and came closer to him.

“Listen, really, I don’t feel well.”

“Oh, and what have you got? Headache?”, she mocked him, laughing.

“I can’t breathe well and I’m weak. I should go to the infirmary but that motherfucker Helmotz won’t let me.”

“Well, you know, it’s really bad that you are indisposed – she kept taunting him – Also because this means that I should find someone else to have fun with. Maybe someone with the same Irish charm of yours…oh, by the way, guess who’s gonna come back to the death row today?”

“Don’t even think about it, bitch!”, Ryan yelled at her, furious.

Howell smiled, satisfied by the power she had on him.

“You know, Ryan, now that I think about it, I think it’d be good to have a little change”, saying this she turned around, heading back to the door.

“Ok, ok, wait!”

Howell stopped.

“Maybe I’m not that sick, but today you have to bring me lunch.”

She turned around and showed him a big grin: “Deal.”

* * *

SOLITARY – a few hours later

Ryan’s attention was suddenly caught by a familiar voice coming from the corridor outside his cell.

“Mail!”

Immediately, he got up from the bed with a grimace of pain and reached the slit on the door. He opened it and looked outside. It was Beecher. A chance not be wasted.

“Beecher!”, he yelled through the slit.

Beecher kept pushing the mail cart through the corridor, ignoring him.

“Beecher!”, Ryan insisted.

“There’s no mail for you, O’Reily, cut it out!”

“Fuck the mail, come here!”

Beecher exhaled forcefully.

“I need to finish delivering these.”

“Oh fuck, Beecher, I can’t yell through all the corridor!”

Beecher snorted again and then moved closer to his door.

“What do you want, O’Reily?”, he finally gave in and asked, getting down near the door slit.

“You have to help me.”

Beecher chuckled.

“What? You chose the wrong person.”

“Come on Beecher, in name of our old friendship!”

“What friendship?! – he laughed again - You sold me drug and I used it. I should be mad at you for turning me into a junkie in the first place.”

“Oh, come on, you can’t say that you didn’t like it.”

Beecher shook his head and got back up, ready to leave.

“No, wait!”

Beecher exhaled sharply and then lowered back near the door.

“We inmates, we must help each other against the COs”, Ryan tried to convince him.

“Again, wrong person.”

“Fuck, Beecher, look at this!”, saying this Ryan raised his shirt to make him see his bruises.

“These assholes don’t let me go to the infirmary and they don’t feed me. They’re gonna let me die in here! I need you to go tell everything to the warden.”

Beecher shook his head again.

“Look, Ryan, I don’t want to help the person who attacked Doctor Nathan, ok? I mean, with all the criminals and scumbags here in Oz, you chose to assault the only person who’s always kind and good with everybody?”

“No, Beecher, listen, things didn’t go that way. I would never hurt Gloria, I love her. That was just play.”

“A play?”

“Yes. Gloria helped me letting me see Cyril against the warden’s orders. She would have lost her job if I hadn’t faked to have forced her doing it.”

“Look-

“You can ask her if you don’t believe me!”

Beecher sighed.

“Please, Beecher, ask Gloria – Ryan started his persuasive mode - If I’m telling you bullshit, you can ignore me, but if I’m telling you the truth, then you have to say to someone what’s happening in here.”

Without saying anything, Beecher reached the cart and left.

Ryan sat back on the bed, hoping he got through.

* * *

INFIRMARY

Tobias Beecher arrived in infirmary to deliver mails to the inmates in the ward. Passing before Gloria’s office, he saw her inside, sitting at her desk. He stopped for a moment, then he decided to go on with his job.

After delivering the last mail, he stopped again in front of the office, uncertain on what to do. Then, he parked the cart and decided to step in.

“Doctor Nathan, may I speak to you one minute?”, Beecher asked politely, after knocking on the open door.

Gloria raised her eyes at him.

“Sure, come in.”

Beecher got in and moved closer to her desk.

“I heard that O’Reily attacked you a few days ago, are you ok?”

Gloria looked away for a moment.

“Yes, I’m fine. Thank you for your concern.”

Beecher nodded and stopped at the door in silence. Gloria noticed his torn attitude.

“Did you need anything else?”, she added.

Beecher stayed quiet a moment more.

“Nah, it’s so stupid…”, he mumbled under his breath.

“What?”

Tobias sighed.

“All right – he eventually gave in – I’m embarrassed to ask you this, but…fuck, I’m here now. I heard a rumor about what O’Reily really did to you, a very very unreliable rumor…but, this rumor said that things went a little different from what everybody knows and everything was just a play that he improvised to spare you some troubles…”

Gloria stared at him more worried.

“Who…- Gloria thought again about his words – Was it Ryan who told you so?”

Beecher got immediately defensive.

“Yeah, I mean, of course, this is just bullshit. I don’t know how I could’ve believed him even for a second. I’m sorry if I’ve offended you Doctor Nathan, he’s just a pathological liar.”

Tobias turned around to leave.

“Not this time”, Gloria admitted.

Tobias turned again, impressed by her confession.

“All right…well, in this case, you’d better visit him in solitary. He’s not doing very well.”

Gloria nodded.

“Ok. Tobias…thank you for the message.”

Beecher reached the door. Before leaving he looked at her again.

“Ah, Doctor Nathan, don’t worry about this. It stays between you and me.”

Then, he left the room.

* * *

SOLITARY ROW

Doctor Nathan arrived in solitary row and approached officer Helmotz’s desk. Helmotz was reading a magazine while eating chips.

“Hi George”, Gloria greeted him.

Surprised, Helmotz raised his eyes at her.

“Hey, Gloria. What can I do for you?”

“I need to visit O’Reily. Can you bring me to his cell?”

“Uhm…O’Reily? – he looked at her both confused and worried – Look, Gloria, don’t worry, we’re taking good care of that bastard – he chuckled – if you know what I mean.”

Gloria gave him a very serious look.

“No. What the hell is that supposed to mean?”, she asked angrily.

“Uhm…nothing”, he replied, completely caught off guard by her reaction.

“So, can you take me to him?”, she insisted, getting tired of his attitude.

“Ok…reason of the visit? I don’t think he asked for a doctor.”

“Before ending up in solitary, I’ve prescribed him some injections and, since he hasn’t come back to the infirmary in these last few days, I’ll have to do them here.”

“I understand…”, Helmotz kept on stalling.

“Is there any problem?”, Gloria asked suspiciously.

“No. It’s just that, you know, there are some restrictions to visit inmates in solitary.”

Gloria was starting to lose her patience.

“I’m the doctor of this prison, I don’t have restrictions to see patients who need cures.”

“No, sure…”

“Anyway, if you have any doubt, you can call the warden and ask him. I don’t think he’ll have any problem about that, maybe he’ll also come here too.”

“You know what? It’s ok – he stood up abruptly – Let’s go.”

They started walking through the corridor.

“You know – Helmotz spoke again – I really don’t understand how you could do this. That bastard threatened you with a glass sliver just a few days ago and you worry about his health.”

“This is my job, George.”

Helmotz suddenly stopped.

“Here.”

He then approached the door, took out some keys and opened it.

“I wait outside. Call me if you need anything.”

“Thanks.”

Gloria stepped in, Helmotz closed back the door.

* * *

RYAN’S CELL

Ryan was lying on the bed with an arm over his forehead. As soon as he heard the noise of the door unlocking, he raised his head abruptly.

“Gloria?? – he asked very surprised after seeing her entering the room - Thank God!”

Gloria walked closer to him.

“Hi Ryan.”

“Are you real? Am I hallucinating?”

Gloria smiled.

“No, this is real”, she reassured him while sitting on his bed.

“How is Cyril?”

Gloria’s expression saddened.

“Unfortunately, yesterday he had another attack.”

Ryan sighed.

“I had just stopped giving him his sedatives, but then he started asking about you and he lost his mind again”, she continued explaining.

“I knew it”, Ryan stated, shaking his head.

“Look, I will report that to the warden and maybe I will be able to make him change his mind about canceling your meetings.”

“Thanks”, Ryan lowered his eyes, still unsure if it could be enough.

“What about you? Beecher told me that you’re not feeling well. What’s going on?”

“I have trouble breathing.”

“Ok – Gloria took her stethoscope – Let me hear your lungs. Please sit and bend over a little.”

Ryan did what she told him, wincing for pain when getting up.

“Does it hurt you to get up?”, she asked, noticing his expression.

“Yeah.”

“Ok, lean on the wall.”

Ryan followed her advice, without being able to take his eyes off her.

“You’re so beautiful – he said in admiration – Have you done something to your hair?”

“Ryan…”, she shook her head, smiling. Then, she raised his T-shirt and noticed all the bruises beneath it.

“Who”, she asked mad and disgusted.

“Howell.”

Gloria shook her head again, despising such behavior of some colleagues of her.

“I’m going to report this crap”, she promised him. Then, she observed his chest more carefully. “I think you might have some broken ribs, maybe also some internal bleeding. I have to take you to infirmary immediately to take an x-ray.”

“Ok.”

Gloria got up and headed for the door. After knocking, Helmotz opened it.

“I need a gurney to take O’Reily to infirmary.”

Helmotz remained still, almost paralyzed.

“I don’t wanna lose my job”, he mumbled.

“Now.”

Helmotz nodded and walked away. Gloria stepped back in the room and sat next to Ryan again. Then, she held his hand, showing a hint of a smile. Ryan smiled back at her too.

* * *

INFIRMARY – a few hours later

Ryan was sitting on a bed with a large bandage all over his chest. After a while Doctor Nathan approached him to check him.

“How are you feeling?”, she asked.

“Better.”

Gloria checked his IV.

“Do you want me to increase the morphine?”

“No, it’s ok.”

“Ok. How is the bandage?”

“Tight.”

“I know it can be annoying, but it has to be tight in order to heal everything in the right way. You have to be patient for the following days.”

“Ok.”

“Anyway, I spoke to the warden. He doesn’t want to have problems about how they treated you in solitary, so, once you leave the infirmary, you can come back to Em City.”

“Good – Ryan said with relief - And what about me and Cyril?”

“He’s gonna set up a meeting to decide what to do.”

“Are you gonna be there?”

“Yes, I’ll be there. Also, the warden, McManus, Sister Peter Marie, Father Mukada and a couple more counselors are going to be there. After Cyril’s last attack, anyway, I’m pretty sure that most of the participants will take your side and vote for your meetings, also considering that Cyril’s execution is getting closer.”

“Yeah, let’s hope it.”

Gloria nodded.

“I have to go check the other patients now.”

“Thank you for everything you’ve done for me”, Ryan said with gratitude.

“I just did what I thought it was right”, Gloria replied defensively.

Then, she started to walk away.

“Uhm, Gloria, what time is it?”

Gloria stopped, confused by the unusual question.

“It’s…it’s almost 3. Why?”

Ryan sighed.

“Still another two hours…”

“To what?”

“To dinner.”

Gloria came closer to him again.

“Is this what I’m thinking?”, she asked, thoughtful.

“If you’re thinking of empty trays with just insults inside, yes.”

Gloria shook her head, disgusted.

“Can you get me something before then?”, Ryan asked.

“Sure. I can take something to the vending machine. What do you want?”

“Anything.”

Gloria nodded.

“But if you find maybe a Hershey’s bar or something like that it would be great - Ryan continued – They don’t give us much chocolate in Oz.”

Gloria smiled.

“It’s not that bad if they don’t give you junk food. I’ll come in a minute.”

Gloria left the room.

After a while she came back and gave Ryan a paper bag.

“Thanks.”

Gloria smiled at him and then left again. Ryan opened the bag and took out a sandwich. Under it, he noticed the chocolate bar. Following Gloria with his eyes while she got out, he can’t help but smiling.


	4. Ticking Clock

Time passed and the day before Cyril’s execution arrived. After gaining the majority of votes in the meeting set by Warden Glynn, Ryan and Cyril had the opportunity to see each other again frequently. However, lately, Cyril had started again to have nightmares and to show signs of restlessness. Because of that, as suggested by Doctor Nathan, he had been moved from death row to infirmary, where he could be easily controlled.

INFIRMARY – The day before execution

Ryan arrived at the infirmary, escorted by a guard. Once inside, the guard left and Ryan proceeded to the corridor leading to Cyril’s room. Arrived at his door, he stopped and looked through the window on it, seeing Cyril napping inside.

Noticing Ryan’s hesitation, Gloria came closer to him.

“Hi”, she said from behind him.

“Hey”, Ryan turned around.

“Do you need to see Cyril? Is the door locked?”

“No, it’s open.”

Gloria stared at him in silence, uncertain on how she should interact with him on this hard day.

“Tomorrow is the day”, Ryan stated, demoralized.

“I know”, Gloria replied with sadness.

Ryan turned again towards Cyril and sighed.

“You know, he still doesn’t know what will happen tomorrow.”

“Ryan, you have to tell him something. Even if your brother’s mind can’t fully understand the reality around him, he will realize that tomorrow will be different from the other days. You need to prepare him somehow to what is going to happen, because otherwise he could have another crisis and, without the possibility of sedating him imposed by the law, things could escalate quickly.”

“Yeah, but what am I supposed to tell him?”

“The truth.”

“The truth?? Are you crazy? He can’t handle it!”

“I’m not saying all the truth, but at least as much as it’s necessary to make him understand why tomorrow he will be woken up at dawn and taken to that room for the injection.”

Ryan kept staring through the window on the door, unable to decide what to do.

A nurse came closer to them.

“Doctor Nathan, we need you.”

“Ok, I’m coming.”

Gloria glanced back at Ryan one more time and then stepped away with the nurse.

Ryan kept thinking a few moments more, then he plucked up and opened the door.

* * *

CYRIL’S ROOM

Ryan entered and sat next to Cyril’s bed. Cyril immediately noticed him and opened his eyes.

“Hi Cyril.”

“Hi Ryan!”

“How are you doing today?”

“Good. They didn’t give me anymore meds and today there was chicken at lunch.”

“Good...”

“And there was also the chocolate cake”, Cyril continued while Ryan was not really paying attention.

“Listen, Cyril, I need to tell you something important.”

“Ok”, Cyril replied with his childish voice, a little confused by the serious tone Ryan was using.

“All right. Tomorrow is going to be a weird day. I’ve spoken to the doctors and they have decided to give you a new cure.”

“Ok…”

“You know, this cure is a special cure and, because of that, they can’t do it here, but you’ll need to go to another place.”

“Another place like a hospital?? - Cyril immediately got nervous - I don’t wanna go to the hospital, I’m scared of hospitals, mommy died in a hospital!”

“No, Cyril, not a hospital, just a room in another branch of the prison.”

“Ok”, he replied calmer.

“Now, in this room, you need to know that you won’t be alone with doctors, but there will be other people to witness, like warden Glynn and father Mukada, but you don’t have to worry about that, ok?”

“Are you gonna be there too, Ryan?”

Ryan hesitated a second.

“No.”

“But I don’t want other people if you’re not gonna be there!”

Ryan sighed.

“Look, Cyril, it’s complicated – Ryan noticed sadness in Cyril’s eyes – But I’ll do my best to be there, ok?”

“Yay”, Cyril smiled again.

“Anyway, once in this room, they’re gonna let you lay down on a bed, make sure you won’t move, and then they’re gonna give you a shot.”

Cyril got nervous again.

“Nooo, I don’t like shots, I’m scared, I don’t wanna do it!”

“Cyril, only small kids are afraid of shots and you are no longer a kid, you’re a man, right?”

“Yes, but I don’t wanna do it anyway!”, Cyril complained, almost crying.

Ryan sighed once more.

“Neither do I, but unfortunately that’s how the cure works, so they have to do it.”

“But the shot is gonna hurt?”

“No, you’ll just feel a little pinch in the arm.”

“But at least, after that, I’ll be healed and I’ll be fine?”

Hearing this, Ryan couldn’t no longer hold his tears and choked up.

“Ryan, why are you crying?”, Cyril asked, confused.

“I’m not crying, it’s just an allergy – Ryan quickly dried up his eyes – I’ll come back in a minute.”

Saying this, he got up and left the room, closing the door behind his back. Once outside, he burst into tears again, leaning against the wall.

* * *

CORRIDOR

Ryan dried his tears and sighed. Doctor Nathan noticed him and approached him.

“Hey, how did it go?”, she asked eagerly.

Ryan shrugged.

“It’s done.”

“It was the right thing to do”, Gloria tried to reassure him.

Ryan sighed again, demoralized.

“You know – he started speaking – since there’s been Cyril’s first trial, months ago, I’ve always thought that no judge would have ever sentenced to death someone in his conditions. But then, there’s been the second, then the third, then the final verdict, but, still, I was continuing to hope that, somehow, we would be able to stop the execution and, because of that, I’ve kept on postponing the moment in which I should have told Cyril what was going to happen, thinking that this way I would protect him.”

Gloria kept staring at him, more emotionally involved.

“But the truth is – Ryan continued – that I wasn’t really protecting Cyril from this, I was just protecting myself, denying what was going to happen. A few moments ago, while I was in there, telling him how tomorrow they’re gonna bring him to that room, tie him to the bed and give him that injection…well, it’s just been in that moment that I realized, for the first time, that those things are really going to happen and that there’s nothing I could do to stop it…my God, Cyril’s gonna die tomorrow.”

Ryan started crying again and Gloria, by instinct, hugged him. While he cried on her shoulder, she gently leaned her hand on his back, caressing it, trying to comfort him. Then, Ryan backed off and dried up his tears. Both of them stared into each other’s eyes for a couple of long seconds.

“I…I need to get back inside”, he said with a soft voice, still caught up in the emotional whirlwind that simple hug had pushed him into.

“Yeah, and I need to go back to the ward.”

At that point, Ryan entered back in the room while Gloria walked away.

* * *

CYRIL’S ROOM

Ryan sat back near Cyril’s bed.

“I’m back.”

“Has the allergy gone?”

“Yeah. Listen, Cyril, earlier I told you the worst part of the story, but there’s also a good one.”

“A good one?”, Cyril asked amazed.

“Yes. Since tomorrow they’re gonna give you that shot, today you can have some rewards.”

“Rewards?? Like presents?”

“Not exactly presents, but you’ll be able to choose what to eat for dinner.”

“Can I eat a peanut butter sandwich?”

“Yes, peanut butter, chips, chocolate, whatever you want.”

“Wow!”, Cyril couldn’t hold back his happiness.

“And there’s more. The COs are gonna allow me to spend more time with you today.”

“Can we play cards?”

“Sure, we can play cards, watch what we want on tv-

“What we want??”

“Yeah, anything.”

“Wow! You know, Ryan, maybe it’s not that bad to have to get that shot.”

Ryan lowered his eyes, feeling the lump in his throat again.

“Ok, Cyril, I need to go now. See you tonight.”

Cyril nodded, “Ok.”

“Hug me.”

While the two brothers hugged, Ryan closed his eyes for a second.

“Bye.”

Then, he headed for the door.

“Bye Ryan.”

* * *

MC MANUS’ OFFICE

Tim McManus was reading some paperwork at his desk when someone knocked at the door.

“Come in.”

The door opened and officer Murphy stepped in.

“Tim, O’Reilly wants to talk to you.”

“Ok, let him in.”

Ryan got in while Murphy left the room and closed the door.

“What do you need, Ryan?”

“Any news from the governor?”, he asked eagerly.

McManus shook his head.

“No. I’m sorry”, Tim answered truly meaning it.

Ryan sighed.

“I want to witness the execution”, he said all in one breath.

“You told me you didn’t feel like”, Tim recalled, confused.

“I’ve changed my mind.”

“Ok. But since you’re gonna be seated next to civilians, you’ll have to be escorted by a CO and cuffed.”

“Oh, come on!”

“That’s the procedure.”

“Fine”, Ryan snorted.

McManus nodded, while Ryan turned around and headed back to the door.

“Ryan, can you tell me something?”

Ryan turned back at him.

“How can the relatives of someone sentenced to death be willing to witness when their loved one will be killed? Isn’t it just cruel and absurd?”

Ryan lowered his eyes for a moment.

“I don’t wanna be there to see Cyril dying, but I want him to be able to see me until the last moment.”

McManus nodded. Then, Ryan opened the door and got escorted back to Em City.

* * *

DEATH ROW – Night

A few hours earlier, Cyril had been transferred back to death row, to spend his last night there, as the protocol stated. Ryan, who had been granted the chance to visit him, had come there a short time later. Now, Cyril and Ryan were playing cards, sitting at a small table in the cell. Cyril had three cards in his hands, while Ryan had one. Cyril threw a red eight on the table, right next to junk food leftovers. Ryan glanced at the clock on the wall: four minutes to midnight. Then, he looked at his red three, shook his head and picked a card from the deck.

“Nothing”, Ryan stated, observing his +4.

Cyril threw a red two.

“One!”, he said with satisfaction.

Ryan stared at the clock again, while another minute passed.

“Ryan, it’s your turn”, Cyril made him focused again.

“Yeah”, he looked at his cards and picked another one from the deck.

Then, Cyril picked up a +4 and played it immediately with joy.

“One!”, he yelled again.

“Fuck. What color?”

“Blue.”

Ryan ignored his +4 again and picked 4 more cards from the deck. Cyril then, threw his last card.

“I won! I thrashed you tonight!”, Cyril exclaimed, happily.

“Yeah, I know.”

Ryan threw his cards on the cover side and then put the deck back together, looking at the clock again.

“Can we play one more time?”

“It’s late, Cyril, I can stay only until midnight”, Ryan said with disappointment.

In that moment, the door opened and officer Murphy stepped in.

“Ryan, I have to take you back to Em City.”

Ryan sighed, then walked closer to Murphy.

“I know it’s late – he started whispering to the guard – but I was thinking…now lights are out in Em City, nobody would notice if I’m missing. Plus, at five I’ll be out again…Maybe I could stay here – saying so, Ryan slid a banknote to Murphy’s hand – a little favor in the name of Ireland...”

Murphy shook his head and gave him back his money.

“You’ve got one minute to say goodbye to your brother. I wait outside.”

Ryan rolled his eyes, cursing under his breath, before coming back to Cyril.

“Hey, Cyril, I have to go.”

“Ok.”

Cyril stood up and Ryan hugged him, barely holding his tears.

“I love you.”

“Me too, Ryan.”

“I wish I didn’t screw up your life so bad like I did. You deserved a better brother”, Ryan said with a broken voice.

“But I had the best.”

“Oh, shut up! – Ryan smiled at him – Bye.”

Ryan turned around, walking to the door.

“See you tomorrow.”

Ryan stopped.

“It’s already tomorrow, Cyril.”

“Oh. Then, see you today.”

“Yeah.”

Then, he started walking again, opened the door and got out.

* * *

DEATH ROW – The following day – 5.30 AM

The door opened and two guards entered, followed by warden Glynn and Father Mukada. Cyril was sleeping.

“Cyril, wake up. We have to go”, warden Glynn said.

Cyril turned on the other side.

“But I’m still sleepy, it’s early”, he complained.

Father Mukada came closer to him.

“Cyril, you have to get up.”

Still complaining, Cyril got up.

* * *

EM CITY

Almost at the same time, officer Murphy opened the door of Ryan’s pod. Ryan, who was laying on the bed where Cyril used to sleep, was already awake, staring at the bed over him.

“Ryan, it’s time.”

Ryan sighed and got up.

* * *

DEATH ROW

Cyril walked out of the cell, cuffed, followed by Warden Glynn, the guards and Father Mukada who started enunciating a psalm.

* * *

EM CITY

Ryan stepped out of his pod. Murphy stopped him and cuffed him. Then, they both left Em City.

* * *

DEATH ROW

Cyril and the others kept on walking in line, until they reached the execution room.

* * *

WITNESSES’ ROOM

Ryan and Murphy entered the witnesses’ room. Ryan observed the journalists and the other people already seated. In the last row, he noticed Doctor Nathan.

Officer Murphy pointed at a chair in the first row, a few seats away from the other people.

“Sit”, he ordered Ryan.

Ryan did as told. Murphy looked at him for a second and sighed.

“If you promise me you won’t do anything stupid, I’ll uncuff you.”

Ryan nodded and Murphy removed his handcuffs. Then, Ryan started staring at the big window before him, still covered by a curtain.

* * *

EXECUTION ROOM

Cyril entered the room and, noting the bed, a doctor and some medical tools next to him, started to get nervous.

“Nooo…Where is Ryan?”, he asked while the guard secured him to the bed, blocking both his wrists and his ankles.

The other guard then opened the curtain.

As soon as the windows was clear, Ryan stood up to make Cyril see him from the other room.

“Cyril!”

Cyril noticed him and calmed down a little.

Then, Murphy came closer to Ryan and made him sit again.

Warden Glynn picked up a microphone and handed it to Cyril.

“Do you have a last statement?”

Cyril looked around, disoriented, unable to understand what was happening around him.

“What?”, he simply said.

Warden Glynn took back the microphone and nodded to the others to proceed. The guard covered Cyril’s face with a black sheet. Cyril got upset again and tried in vain to free his hands and feet, while Ryan observed the scene from the other side, powerless.

The doctor picked up the first syringe, which aim was to relax the muscles before the lethal injection, and came closer to Cyril, who, as soon as he felt the needle, started to scream and wriggle with strength.

* * *

WITNESSES’ ROOM

On the other side of the room, Ryan stood up abruptly, heading for the door. Immediately, Murphy blocked him.

“I can’t stay here!”, Ryan yelled.

“You said you stayed, now you stay!”, Murphy replied coldly.

“No, I can’t, I feel sick, let me out!”

Gloria, noticing the whole scene, quickly approached them.

“Murphy, I stay outside with him”, she said to the officer.

Murphy nodded and let them get out in the corridor, then he closed back the door. Ryan leaned on the wall trying to calm down.

* * *

EXECUTION ROOM

In the execution room, everybody noticed the little accident happened in the witness’ room. Once the order had been reestablished, Warden Glynn told the doctor to go on. The doctor picked up the second syringe.

* * *

CORRIDOR

Outside, Gloria came closer to Ryan and gently caressed his face. Ryan raised up his eyes at her and the two of them stared at each other for a few seconds. Then, Gloria kissed him sweetly.

* * *

EXECUTION ROOM

Inside, the doctor injected the second syringe in Cyril’s arm. After a few involuntary spasms, Cyril stopped moving. The doctor checked his heartbeat.

“Time of death 6:08.”

* * *

CORRIDOR

In the hallway, Gloria smiled at Ryan. The door opened and Murphy got out, while both of them immediately backed off and turned to him.

“It’s over – Murphy stated to Ryan – I need to take you back to Em City.”

Ryan nodded, demoralized, and then followed him.

Gloria looked at him, walking away, with her eyes full of sadness.


End file.
